2 Months

Dear Maren:

Today you are two months old.

I think that I will always think back on this month as the month that we really fell in love.

I now know that you love music. Whenever we play music you are happier, more engaged, and you’ve started to coo when I sing to you. At church you kept staring at the speakers while we were trying to show you the piano– like, Duh, stupid grown-ups, the music is coming from THAT thing.

We also know that you know us. You turn to the sound of my voice. When I visit your classroom at school during your nap I have to be very quiet, or you will wake up when you hear me.

When Daddy kisses your cheeks, your smile gets wider and wider until it takes up the entire bottom half of your face. You raise your eyebrows, too. Your whole face is engaged in this delighted moment.

We also know that you have lots of opinions. You like bath time, but only when Mommy does it, Daddy doesn’t get the water right. You hate the car seat, but like the car. But only for short little trips– we think this has something to do with how sweaty your back gets– just like Dad. You LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE your schedule. Eat, play, sleep. Eat, play, sleep. You hate weekends because no matter what we do, we just can’t get as regimented as they are at school. And that stupid car seat gets used a lot more often on weekends.

You like being outside, but that darn sun is awful bright sometimes. You like to cuddle at night time, but during the day, you’d rather be on your own, grabbing things off shelves and practicing your new moves. You have flipped onto your belly now three times, and onto your back once, and you kick more than any kid I’ve ever seen. You’re going to be a swimmer, I think.

You sleep like a college student: you fight going to bed with every bit of strength in you because you JUST KNOW that something FUNNY is going to happen and you’re going to miss it. And then you wake up the same way– totally pissed off. Then once you go to the bathroom and get some food in your tummy, you are ready to rock out.

When has 2 months ever gone by so freaky fast? When I was a kid, I felt like summer stretched on and on and on– it was such a bummer to find out it was really only 3 months long. When I was in college, I felt like one semester equaled SEVENTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE– it’s crazy now to think that that’s only four months. I used to think that time started going so much faster once the year was split into 12 rent payments. Imagine how much faster its going when you realize that all you really have are a string of moments, and you hope to catch them all before their gone.

And this was a month that we were brought back to reality, and reminded that for some people, life is not always so beautiful as when they are gazing at their newborn. Sometimes people have broken places in them, sharp edges, and hidden corners. It’s hard to believe, when you spend so much time with a newborn, who is nothing if not the personification of LIFE, that life doesn’t just go on and on and on for us all. It sometimes seems impossible to me that we won’t just keep playing, falling down and standing up again, learning to breathe and laugh and sing, forever and ever. We won’t. And it’s too bad. It makes me sad, but it also makes me determined that we won’t waste the time that we have with each other. Because time runs out, and time doesn’t care.

You have a newborn smell on the top of your head that is SO delicious. I want to bottle it and pump it into my car next time it gets washed. It started to disappear this month. But I am hoping that, even twenty years from now, when I sit close enough to you and close my eyes, I will still be able to breathe you in.

Happy 2 month birthday to us!

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